My Childhood Restored!

Most of the time, I wished to be a hero...maybe...not. More of a person who has super special abilities. I dream to have telekinetic power. Until now, most of the time I wished to have some kind of ability that could make me break a wall or make objects like knives float that I could control.

I was born in a middle class family. My father was a seaman and my mom a housewife. Not much that anyone would call lavish but I would say made us live comfortably. So growing up, I was never exposed such things like fights on the streets that was shown on movies and news. It was during school days where I heard stories of gangs and fights from my schoolmates. In my mind during that time I was the protagonist of a dangerous, action-packed movie. Although I am not used to such things as bar fights and brawls, I know that I would able to defend myself from attacks of numerous opponents going at me at the same time. Every time I watch a movie by Bruce Lee or any of the Hollywood heroes, I felt good about myself. I would say, “If that happens to me, all my enemies would be licking my foot!” And I would believed that watching Karate Kid and Ninja Turtles I was able to absorb their skills of knowing when an enemy is behind me and learning to block their attacks at the same time. It’s the closest I have of joining and learning martial arts. Yeah...I know...absurd. But in my mind I was deadly! Friendly, but deadly!

Then snap back to reality. Oh there goes gravity...and my dignity...yeah...sad but true. And no, it’s not what you are thinking. I did not learn it the hard way. I was able to go home that evening, with nothing but a bruised ego and a ruined childhood. I was with a group of friends celebrating in a pool resort. Not much was happening except that we were having fun. Not disturbing anyone that would cause trouble because with us were kids we did bring for the occasion. But here comes the baddies. They were a group of about 20 to 30 men (not really, but they were more than the number of fingers that I have). Grown men who was there also to celebrate their victory at a basketball game. I don’t know much about what really triggered the event but there I was, standing shocked to see that one from the other camp landed the first punch. It was a frenzy of 5 to 6 men against 1 of our guy. I clinched my fist ready to transform into Masked Rider Black. But I didn’t do it. There were too many people who would see me. That, or the fact that the first thing that comes to my mind was to stop the fight because I was trained to do that. To those who do not know my background: I was a member and became a youth leader and a music/choir director of a church. There I learned how to forgive, care and give my other cheeks to my enemies. Oh! How I wished that I had become a Buddhist monk instead who knows martial arts! But there I was, diving between the assailants and to the guy who is already down. I received punches and kicks and was choked doing what my reprogrammed killer instincts was telling me. But to my somehow weird self-esteem, I was pleased of myself for never going down even once! After the foray, I never received any visible bruises on my face except for a bloody nose, which healed instantly after I expelled the blood from my nose. There I realized, I have the same ability as Wolverine. Childhood restored!

But, I couldn’t say I was very pleased with my actions, especially when we got to the police precinct. There the other camp was still very arrogant with their behavior. They still try to bully our group by staring at us menacingly or walk boastfully in front of the women with us. How I wished that I had also thrown a punch. I know that I could take a punch from them, might as well give some. It is better to give than to receive. Damn! Why didn’t I remember that!

Also, there was a news today of a video footage taken by the murderers when they killed a doctor in Bacolod. My heart really stopped at the intensity of their actions and the lack of conscience by the attackers. How could anyone do what they did without the guilt in their eyes! But I am not that naive. I know that there are a lot of heinous crimes being committed every single day.

Fear is what I am feeling right now. Fear of someone would randomly stab me in the streets. Fear that I would not look at anyone so innocently. Having a judgemental attitude to everyone I come in contact with, losing hope to humanity. But most of all fear that I might do something that I might regret. No matter what you call them, murderers, killers, etc. they are still a breathing, blood and flesh creatures. And they still could be killed. Sometimes at night when I remember these things, I have this fantasy of cutting piece by piece the fingers of these evil men. These uncivilized, barbaric, no use to society apes! I would try and look them in their eyes as I tore their skin from their flesh. I would love to hear them scream in agony as I break every bone in their body. As their faces were flashed on the TV monitor, I envisioned them being chained inside my room waiting, pleading to die!

This is not evil against evil. This is not eye for an eye or tooth for a tooth. This is justice to humanity. What these people have done is a detriment to society in which they are supposed to function with civility. How dare anyone say that they still should enjoy their human rights? They have waived their rights when they have committed these crimes. These crimes are not just in self-defense or by a freak accident. This is a planned, meditated action to kill someone innocent. And I dare say innocent. I know some would say that nobody is ever fully innocent, but these victims are.

Okay...whoo...rants...hey...welcome to the dark side. My dark side. You see. This is one of the negative effects of these unspeakable crimes to me. I wished that the zombie apocalypse would happen very soon. So I could shoot and kill people (who have turned into zombies) because they have removed the death penalty here in the Philippines. Screw human civilization!

And now to calm myself, I will meditate and centre all my Ki energy into a ball...Haduken!!!

Please Don’t Forget To Be Happy!